You know, I'm supposed to be working, doing some studying...gearing up for the final two exams in this child development course I've been taking and getting myself all geared up for two more classes, one I have on hold and the other I need to register for, but I felt like I needed to do some serious writing...I needed to get some stuff offa my chest.
Okay, so y'all know I've been chilling with this girl for awhile and things have been good, I mean really good. I enjoy the time that we've spent together so far, whether it was talking on the phone for hours at a time or spending night after night together...sharing space with her really uplifted my spirits...lol...I know it sounds cheesy, but when you like someone, you're bound to say some cheesy ish. So, we've been spending loads of time together without so much as a disagreement, when lo and behold...here we are at our first fight.
Now, I don't want to call it a fight, but its not just a simple misunderstanding. The issue at hand is about my penchant for being self-involved...yeah, I've heard it all before...but I think I'm all set with hearing it again. You can only go for so long with people saying to you, " you're self-involved and it kind of sucks," before it hits home.
Thing is, I know I'm a bit of the egocentric type...I don't necessarily pride myself in it, but it has stood as a mechanism to keep me intact, especially after some of the bullshit that women of the world have put me through...thing is, I'm all set with trying to safe guard myself from someone, for once I just want to let go and just let things happen, but we all know what happens when you do that...you get burned. I don't want to get burned, but I don't want to not take care of myself...so that leaves me trying to overcome the challenge of being less Jamila centered.
Yeah, I really do like this one.
(originally written on 2007 and yes that whole encounter ended horribly)
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